07.25.10

Music relief

Posted in Rants at 11:01 pm by

Its so hard to feel a sense of empathy or to even care about anything when you’re so bitter. Last night I was asked 101 questions about my personal life and the assumption from my interogator (who happened to be my cousin, bless her soul), was that I must be so unhappy with my life because I don’t have a man…

I loved her innocence in assuming that, but it sadly made me realise one thing – my bitterness from one situation was holding up my happiness for another. So I’m going to try my hardest to let go of it and to do this I started listening to music to soothe my mind and stop the constant analysing of thoughts, emotions, actions…the last song stuck in my head was Beyonce singing Ave Maria – not sure if its the best song choice but its helping me to think a lot simpler! Thanks Bee :)

For the record, I havent been looking for a man and Im happy with my life just the way it is…for now at least.

Family time

Posted in Rants at 4:50 pm by

I’m in a shit mood today…all over some stupid guy! No need for details but you know when everything is going fine and then suddenly you read or hear something and it puts you back into that place you don’t wanna be, well that’s where I am at the moment..arrggh and I freaken hate it!!

He’s an assh*le I’m trying to erase from my memory, I was almost close and then back to square one – any remedies to help with this? I think a run with the dog will help clear the mind and rid me of this insanity

07.22.10

Back to the desk

Posted in Raves at 3:35 pm by

So I’ve just come back in the office today after Auntie’s sendoff. I know I shouldn’t be here but I have too much freaken work…mahi waits for no man, eerh, no woman in my case. Be a Mexi-Can not a Mexi-Cant.

Fark I am so having a beer or wine tonight.

07.21.10

BFF

Posted in Raves at 2:44 pm by

My BFF from high school flew back last night from Oz with her partner and two beautiful girls…but not under the happiest of circumstances. You see her mum passed away the night before and she was coming home to see her one last time. Upon arrival to the marae, I looked around and my mate hadn’t arrived yet, instead I saw our other friend who made up our ‘holy trinity’ trio.

We both sat, went up to Auntie, gave her a kiss and waited for our mate to walk into the wharenui. Her arrival came with a deep bellow and her cries echoed throughout – when we finally got the chance to give her a big hug & kiss, it was the saddiest I’d felt in so long. Selfishly it felt good to see the girls – that deep sense of friendship a person is lucky to have even once in our lives was there again.

Over brisket, coffee and half eaten biscuits we yarned like we were back at high school again, the laughs were reminiscent of my teenage years and I honestly felt like a 16 year old again. We shared our favourite stories about Auntie…knowing she’d be laughing as loud as we were :)

But in her eyes my mate is broken. Her confession to us that she wanted it all ‘done and over with’ came as a shock. If only strength was transferable like money and a simple transaction would solidfy the deal.

It pains me to see my friend like that, I only hope she can let go…

07.20.10

And so it begins

Posted in Raves at 4:46 am by

It’s official…I’m now online blogging and must I say, it’s extremely liberating to vent/share my madness with the rest of the world without fear or trepidation!!

I’ve manifested this for a while in my head and have always liked the thought of being a ‘blogger’. Don’t really know what that means or entails but I’m willing to give it a go and anticipate that there will be plenty of mistakes/challenges along the way. Who want’s to read my sh*t? And what I’m I going to write about??

So many questions/answers but mostly secrets to share with my willing audience lol. So read at will, post at discretion, and share a piece of my thoughts with the rest of the world. It’s one small step on my own personal mission to rule my world :)